23.12.14

Lazy days and Mondays: A bomb has exploded in my brain.

I currently have a mountain of coursework the size of everest, and I am slowly losing the will to live. Prioritising is hard. Organising is even harder. And my brain feels like a filing cabinet that has had a bomb go off inside it: everything is all there, its just messed up and frazzled.

As I sit here, staring at my to-do list, the essays, and my computer screen, all I want to do is whip out my fine liners, organise everything, and get started, yet no matter how much I try, I feel like nothing is working and even more un-productive than before I started.

I wrote a three hundred words of an essay this evening, I thought I would be happy at that fact, but even as I typed it, I felt my eyes sink a little further into the back of my head. I do not feel organised, so no matter how much I do, I don't think I will feel at all happy over the amount of work I have done.

I need a desk. I have come to the conclusion that if I had a desk, where I could organise things, and leave them, so I could do them and come to them as I please, instead of having to pack everything away every time I want to stop doing it for an hour or so. The thing is, my house is tiny, and my bedroom is even tinier, so there is no room for a desk, and I can't use the table in the living room, because I get distracted so easily. I can barely focus for more than three seconds as it is, try writing an essay in a room with a bunch of people who are all watching TV, and talking, and just being there. You never really realise how much noise people make,just by being there, until they all leave, and you can sit in silence. This why I love when my parents go on holiday - they are usually the most productive periods of my life - no distractions, no one moaning at me for making mess with all my papers, its perfect. I honestly can't wait to live on my own. I think it's living with people that makes me crazy.

I don't know why I am telling you guys this, I just had to get it off my chest, and thats what a blog is there for, right? To write your thoughts and feelings, and whatever? I just wish my brain could organise it's self for five minutes, just so I can sit, breathe, think, and then organise other aspects of my life.

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