27.7.18

My thoughts on Internet Dating

Thanks to 4music, I have been watching copious hours of my favourite show of the 90's, Charmed. I know all the episodes line by line - but that doesn't stop me from gaining something new everytime I watch them.  The most recent episode I watched, Lucky Charmed, features a storyline where Pheobes boss forces her into trying online dating so she can write about it in her column, however, Pheobe has some reservations about trying it, similar reservations as to what any late 90's early 00's viewer would undoubtedly hold. But that got me thinking, do these reservations hold up nearly two decades since the episode first aired? 



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Phoebe wanted romance, she wanted a connection that she didn't believe you could simply get over a screen, but in 2018, where we use texting and various forms of apps for communicating, it doesn't seem so farfetched. 

Of course back in the 90's it wasn't as easy as swiping left, or stalking someones facebook page to make sure they weren't a murderer. Phoebe was out there trying to Internet date in a world that was still relatively new to the Internet and it was largely thought that the only people that used Internet dating sites were weirdos. In previous episodes of Charmed, we saw the sisters scoring dates by meeting people face to face, and we very rarely saw them use a computer unless it was for work, so it makes sense that Phoebe would hold these reservations.

"I think you can get CDs over the internet, books, a purse maybe, but not a date..." - Phoebe Halliwell 

Jump forward twenty years and we have a whole generation of people who don't know what it is like to live without the internet. Sharing multiple aspects of your life online has become normal, so why wouldn't you try to find love online? The phones we carry in our pockets are more powerful than any of the basic everyday computers the Charmed sisters would have used, not just in the technology, but how we use that technology. And we certainly aren't all strangers to blurring our work lives and our personal lives.

We're a generation of people that are constantly on the go, looking for adventure, looking for their next holiday destination whilst spending more hours at work than we probably should - our phones have become somewhat of a lifeline, everything we could ever want is at the tip of our fingers. Why wait for the right person to bump into you in Starbucks when you can 'virtually' bump into them from the comfort of your own home?

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Pheobe did also mention that she thought it was impersonal and 'too planned' which is definitely understandable, but how different is it from meeting a stranger in the local bar and agreeing to go to dinner with them? At least viewing them online can give you an insight as to who they are as a person before you essentially give them five hours of your life.

Nowadays, online dating has become a little less taboo, and many dating websites offer safe places to meet someone for the first time: local singles nights that are for members only. There are also movements such as #AskForAngela which many bars and clubs are now aware of. Of course, online dating is not 100% safe, but it is likely safer than what it was in the nineties. As I mentioned before, we are a generation that has come to rely on the internet, there are apps that will send your location to friends, there are panic button apps, or you can even just send a discreet text. I think it is important to remember that there are more good people in the world than bad, you just need to have your wits about you. 

It has to be said that whilst the whole tone of Internet dating on the show is largely negative, what with Phoebes first online date being a Demon, and the second being her catfishing boss, the last scene does show that Internet dating could evolve into something less seedy... and twenty years on, we can see that has definitely been the case. 


What are your thoughts on online dating?


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If you fancy trying your luck at online dating, there are a number of dating sites to choose from, including, We Love Dates.




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*This post was written in collaboration with We Love Dates, however, all content and opinions are my own.

5 comments:

  1. I've never done online dating in terms of dating apps and actively seeking dates / a partner through them. But I did technically meed my current boyfriend online but it was through Facebook because he knew my Mum first and she told me to add him as a friend. God that sounds weird haha! The thought of dating through an app scares the absolute life out of me to be honest! You hear so many horror stories!

    Jenny
    http://www.jennyinneverland.com

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  2. I think I'd be to scared for internet dating, but I love hearing about all the amazing success stories that have come from it :) xx

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  3. I feel like when the internet first 'started', people were so cagey about admitting they met online. Nowadays there's definitely less of a taboo. I think online dating is kind of great, I love that you can get to know someone's personality a bit before meeting them - it seems a lot less shallow than just agreeing to meet up with someone you met in a bar, know nothing about, but just fancy? Life is so busy and overwhelming these days that I don't think it matters how you meet!
    Beth x Adventure & Anxiety

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  4. I was hesitant to try out online dating for a long time because of the stigma around it, but started using it just less than a year ago. You definitely have to go in with a clear idea of what you're looking for and be smart about meeting people (have a safety friend who knows where you are at all times!), but it's a fun way to connect with people especially if you don't have friends who are the kind to match you up or if you don't know a lot of people in your city yet.

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  5. I think people are always nervous about anything 'new', online or not, relationships or not.
    Personally, I like getting to know someone before I meet them! It feels safer than meeting an axe-murderer at a bar!
    Imogen’s Typewriter. <3

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